The many and numerous trademarks of John L. Woolley

There was once a man named John L. Woolley. He was born approximately 7,000 years ago, in Thebes, Greece. Shortly after his training to become a Spartan warrior, he gave up his profession of being fit an tan to don the lonely and rewarding position of the Apollo Academic Team Head Coach. For their first competition, the academic decathalon (which took place at the first Olympic Games in Athens) Woolley single-handedly lead the team to victory after a 9 and a half hour practice session the previous night.
John Woolley continued to coach the team to several victories in muy importante competitiones!, but the thirst for dominance was beginning to dwindle, so he packed his bags and moved to Owensboro, KY, subsequently taking the entire high school with him.
Since coming to Kentucky, John Woolley has enjoyed the various commodities and requirements of his postition, which allow him to run a training regiment similar to that of the Russian KGB.
Some of these job requirements include, but are not limited to:
Dressing in the same denim shirt for a semester
Driving the team bus
Talking to students while driving the team bus
Reading questions for the quick recall team while driving the team bus while cornering at 45 mph
Smoking
"Calling his wife"
Taking numerous pit stops
Screaming
Practicing the quick recall team for their vigourous competition schedule
Yelling at the team members when they miss a question "That they had in practice like, 5 months ago"
Denying that he has yelled at the team members when questioned about it
And last, but certainly not least, resigning after commiting several misdemeanors in Birmingham, Alabama.

The previous is false and should be treated as such. Any likeness of persons mentioned is purely coincidental. Copyright MMX, all rights reserved.